Revelations

I dragged my ass out on a run this morning and as painful as it was I'm glad I did.  I got some thinking done, so here goes. 

First, I'm still trying to find the quick fix.  Even though I've been at this for years and I know that there is no magic bullet, I still keep looking for it.  I bought two  books in the last week that prove that fact.  The previously mentioned Beck Diet Solution and the Flat Belly Diet from Prevention.  Having read through the Flat Belly Diet I realized I can not follow their plan, I would be setting myself up for failure, but there are some things I can incorporate into my eating that may help me. As for the Beck Diet Solution, that is a psychological approach to weight loss and quite frankly nothing new to me.  So, no magic bullets, nothing new under the sun really, and I'm surprised???  No.  I know how to eat right.  I know what's good for me and what's not so good for me.  I know all this so that's what I'm going to do.  I am going to journal because, while I hate it, it does help a lot. 

Second, when I'm out running I keep lamenting that I'm not where I used to be.  The detail I leave out is that I used to be there 5 years and 15 lbs ago.  Hello!!!!  I can not compare myself to that person, it's not fair to me or her. So I'm not.  I know how I did today and I'm going to try and do better tomorrow.  I'm not going to compare myself to the person I was only to the person that I am now.  I will strive to be that person again, but I'm not going to beat myself up because I'm not her now. 

Third, I need consistency.  I may not be the person I was 5 years ago and I may be 15lbs heavier but if I want to be that person again I need to be consistent.  This is an area I really need to work on.  What does consistency look like?  Doing something every day.  I'm going to start with 30 minutes.  That's all.  Just 30 minutes.  When I weighed 225lbs it took me 30 minutes to walk a mile.  If I can struggle through that I can do 30 minutes of activity.  I will also do weight training 2 nights per week.  I'm going to put the weights back in the living room and during commercials I'm going to do some weight exercise.  Consistency!!!

Finally, I need to focus on the now.  I am a person who is typically always looking ahead; lunch time, dinner time, tomorrow, next week.  That stops right here and now.  I focus on now.  Focusing on the future allows me to indulge too much. Oh, I'll have this brownie now because tomorrow I'll eat nothing.  Bullshit!!!!  It's the now.  Delayed gratification is going to be my mantra from now on.  If I can burn 500 extra calories I'll have a brownie but not before. 

Okay, butt kicking is now over.