01 July 2010

Stop Stressing

I came to the conclusion a while ago that it seems I like to worry. For a long time there were lots and lots of things to worry about and it seems I may have gotten into the habit of worrying. I think it's one of my huge problems and it's a cycle I'm working hard on breaking.

Along the same lines, I stress over stuff a lot. I mean A LOT. I am working on my thesis and I'm spending so much time stressing over it that I've basically got nothing but an outline done. I want to get things well organized for the next school year, yet I've spent so much time stressing over it I'm not as far along as I'd hoped to be.

Also, I have it firmly embedded in my head that I HAVE to work out every morning. If I don't work out in the morning the day is a complete and total loss. I may as well eat junk food all day.

The other day my feelings of stress and worry reached a peak. I was trying to work on my thesis and felt like a snack. I had no snacks in the house so I decided to walk to the store and get some. I did. I got popcorn, cookies and pretzels. I proceeded to eat about 1/2 the bag of popcorn and a whole bunch of cookies. Did I get any of my thesis done? Not much. Yesterday I was not going to eat in the morning but I ended up chasing the neighbors dogs around after they got out. When I finally got them in the house - their house, not mine - I came home and was pissed off and angry over at the neighbors for putting me in this position. They knew that one of the dogs could get out and they did nothing to fix the problem. This resulted in both of them getting out and me having to chase them down. Yes, I could have let them go but I really would have felt horrible then. So instead of dealing with the anger I proceeded to polish off the popcorn and cookies. I felt like crap for the rest of the day. The good points of this story? I realized what I did, not at the time I was stuffing my face but afterward. It's much better than asking, why did I do that???

So today, I'm going to face my demons. I'm going to start dealing with this stuff head on. I'm going to make a to-do list of things to accomplish today. Things along the lines of my thesis, my lesson plans and my workouts. I'm scheduled to run today but it's pouring rain. I'm going to eat some breakfast - because I'm hungry - then see what happens with the weather. If I can't get a run in I'll do something else in a little while. Instead of stressing and worrying and avoiding, I'm going to face these things head on and handle them.

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