29 November 2011


I was sitting here watching the Biggest Loser and planning the post I was going to write. It was going to be about how I am recovering and how everything freaking hurts and how I'm going to make damn sure I don't fall again. It is not fun. But I'm sitting here watching the Biggest Loser and it's make-over week. They are all getting new clothes and haircuts and spa treatments, etc. As the one lady, Bonnie, was meeting up with her husband she commented that they are going to be the most active retired couple in America. As she said that I thought to myself, I used to be active. I like doing things. When things come up my initial reaction is always, let's go. But a lot of times I back out at the last minute and it has to do with my weight. Wow!! You have no idea what a revelation that is to me. I have the desire to do things but I let my weight and how I feel hold me back. Seriously, I knew that but I didn't really know that... Now I know that, and the scientist in me realizes that once you know something you can act on it. Holy Crap!!! This is really so amazing.... I'm sitting here in absolute shock with my mouth hanging open. It is so strange to me how I can know something but then one day, some random comment will hit me and I realize that I didn't know it, I was just giving it lip service. Wow!! No more letting my weight tell me what to do. No more will my weight keep me in bed in the mornings. No more will I miss out on things because I feel fat or I don't think I have anything to wear. NO MORE!!!

In other news, I completely avoided Black Friday. We did go to K-Mart around 1 pm and there was no one there. It's been more crowded on the random Saturday than it was on Black Friday. But other than that I did not go near a store all day. I was slightly tempted to go at midnight when the mall here opened, but I resisted. I am however, looking forward to after Christmas sales or, as they say in England, boxing day sales. That's when I go shopping and usually save a bundle.

Okay, I have to go. This revelation has literally blown my mind. I have a headache and I need to really absorb this.

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