04 December 2016
Time for a reality check
I've been feeling like I'm gaining weight. I'm not. At least not according to the scale. I haven't been going to Crossfit. Or walking. Or doing anything at all. So I'm feeling fat and bloated and generally Pillsbury dough boyish. I was trying to figure out why this is happening and I think I figured it out. I've been dealing with this nonsense with my sister for a couple of weeks now. Although I've been saying that it doesn't bother me and I'm just the messenger, I think I was lying to myself. I think I have been under an enormous amount of stress and just did not recognize it. Me!!! I finally started to become aware of it last week and then tonight, while I took a relaxing bath, it kind of settled in and started to make sense. I've been internalizing this stress and working very hard not to let it get to me and thereby creating more stress..... Time to end it. First, my sister leaves for rehab Tuesday morning, so that will be out of my hands. Next, I need to start meditating again. Tonight. I also need to start yoga again. Tomorrow.
Another problem is that I've been letting myself down. I make these grand plans to workout either in the morning or at Crossfit or whatever. So, one day at a time and one workout at a time. No pressure. No stress. No lofty expectations. Just trudging through it one workout at a time, one day at a time, one meal at a time. So, project stress reduction is on.
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