18 March 2018

I am a child!!!

But at least I've come to accept that. It's true. So yesterday I was still a little ticked off over the whole messaging thing. I got a private message from another member of the 4 who said she was 'just reaching out to connect' blah.....  I ignored it. The one out of town posted a couple of times too and I ignored those. And last night I was kind of angry about it. I mean real anger. Which struck me as odd because I generally don't get angry. But then I remembered, I read somewhere that anger results in an imbalance of power, or something like that. Then I realized that I have control of my emotions. Someone can only make me angry if I allow them to. And I decided that I wasn't going to allow them to. So yeah, I am a child and I freely admit it.

Having said all that, when I do talk to them again, and I will soon, I'm not going to explain myself. I'm just going to say yeah, I didn't respond and leave it at that. I may say that if I have nothing to say I just say nothing. I don't know, but I refuse to explain myself. Anyway, enough of this nonsense, and it is a whole lot of nonsense in my head. Time to get out of my own head.

Today I have to make sure I'm ready for school again 😢  I don't want to go back. I don't want to face 9 straight weeks of torture. The good news is, it's only 9 weeks. Of 4 day work weeks. I can do this.

I have lost a lot of my momentum this week during break though. There were days where I didn't walk 4,000 steps. Days when I spent most of the day sleeping on the couch. Days where I ate more crap than I should have. So tomorrow will be good to get back into the routine. The good news is that it all didn't go to shit over the break. Yes, I faltered here and there, but overall I kept doing AltShift. Yay me!!!  \o/

I did go to the gym once during the break. That is definitely a start. But I want to go 2x a week regularly. I just don't know when to go. Of course, I should have used the break time to figure out when is the best time to go, but I didn't 😏  So I need to do that this week. It would be nice if Hubby went with me, but I think he's feeling a little embarrassed to go. Oh well, one more thing on my to-do list this week.

I got up really early today for a couple of reasons. First, I was awake. Second, I need to get back into the habit of getting up really early. Third, I really enjoy my time alone in the mornings. And fourth, I want to go for a walk this morning. I like having an hour or so before Hubby gets up. For some reason, it seems like once he gets up everything gets louder. I like the quiet. That's why I like to walk at this time too.

Okay, I'm done. Going to get ready to head out for my walk and then get ready to tackle the day.


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