14 April 2022

Yesterday was a rest day

 It's been a few years since I had to consider rest days. I'm not at the level I was then, but I am working out regularly and that requires rest days. Wednesdays are typically the day I stay late at school, so I designated that my rest day. I came home, put my jammies on right away, and sat on the couch watching TV until Hubby got home. It was a nice change of pace. So, side note, when writing that last sentence I was going to write 'it was glorious' but as I was typing I realized that elevated it to a level I didn't want it to hold. Resting is nice and very needed, but it is not glorious. That work makes it have more value in my mind than I want to assign to it. I definitely want rest to have value because it has a place, but I want working out and good health to have more value. 

It's interesting how impactful words can be. I've known that for a long time, but it's only in the last few years that I've really come to understand just how impactful. If I have a habit I want to cultivate, I can't say 'I need to do that', that word need implies something I don't really want to do but am obligated to do. Better to say 'I want to do that' because than implies that this is something I value and therefore it has more power. That's a lesson it took me years and years to learn, and I still relearn it regularly. But it is a powerful lesson. 

I had a topic on my mind last night and thought, I should write that down. I didn't write it down and now I can't remember it. Oh wait, I think it was emotional eating. That came to mind because Wednesday is Hubby's golf day. That means going out with the boys and drinking after golf, sometimes until 5 or 6 pm. On a work night that is late. Usually on those nights, I tend to eat emotionally because I'm upset he's not home.. Last night I thought about it and tried to get to the bottom of the emotions. I could be upset because he's messing up my routine. But that's not completely true because I still do my regular routine regardless of the time he gets home. I could be upset because he has a group of friends to go hang out with. But that's not completely true either. I've never had a whole lot of friends. I've always had just a couple of close friends and a lot of acquaintances. I don't do well with lots of people, I prefer one on one. And going out and just drinking is really not my cup of tea (haha, see what I did there). So there really is no basis behind the emotion - which is negative - at all. So last night I did do a tiny bit of emotional eating, I had some trail mix, but after I analyzed it, I let it go. The fact is I enjoy being alone for a while. I got to sit on the couch and watch whatever I wanted - something that rarely happens. Plus, while I love my husband, he moves in noise. Wherever he goes, whatever he does, there is noise involved. That gets tiresome. So I truly enjoy my few hours of peace and quiet. 

Okay, I'm done for today. Off to work. It's Thursday. 

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