28 June 2023

Some enlightenment

 Since my last post some things have come to light for me. I walked the canal that day and was in agony with my knee the rest of the day. So I really haven't walked the canal again until today. The knee got so bad, I finally went to the Good Feet Store on Sunday and had my insoles checked out. They were bad. The ones I use most often anyway. So I got new ones and things have been considerably better since then. Still not perfect but that is likely due to the fact that I sit so much right now. Today I did walk the canal and it felt pretty good. Knee is a little tweaky but I'm confident it will be okay. 

I have been working on school work and you can read about that over on that blog, but I haven't been able to completely shake the lethargy. I still can't workout and won't be able to until we return from our trip next week. That's okay, because I will be doing things and seeing things and it will be interesting. When we return I plan on diving right into the workouts again. I will be doing weights and Supernatural on a regular rotation. I need to feel myself again. 

I did realize the other day that working out doesn't really necessarily change my body much. I have never lost a ton of weight from working out. But it does change my mental state. Once my mental state is in a good place, then all the other things start to fall into place. I think the key would be to keep the workouts going long enough to actually change my body. I so know that it takes time. When I rode my bike to school for a year, it took a few months before I started to notice any changes in my body. So I know that it can happen, I just need to keep it going long enough for it to work. Which means being smart and not hurting myself. 

So yeah, I'm excited to start working out again. 

I went to the eye doctor yesterday for the one week check up and I have 20/20 vision. It is so cool. I now own more sunglasses than a person should be allowed to. I bought a really nice pair of Oakley's because I could. I got a pair with Bluetooth speakers in them so I can listen to my podcasts on my walks without earphones in. And I ordered 2 pairs from this fun company, one is shark week glasses. Oh yeah, I also have a couple of pairs from this other company that has sport type glasses. I decided that I don't like them much because they make my eyes sweat. They are the wraparound kind. Yuck. 

Which leads me to another topic on how I know I am sinking into depression and lethargy has a strong hold on me. I am spending a ton of money. On nonsense. I have 3 planners that start next month and another one on the way. Amazon has been coming here multiple times a day. Yeah, this is depression. I am trying to find validation and meaning by buying things. It's not working. 

Also, my room here is a mess. I have not been spending much time in here because I've been laying on the couch, but it is a disaster. I know that is  also due to the depression. When I start to enter a depression, I just don't care. Not. At. All. And unfortunately I have found that is how I feel these last few days. 

So, I need to shake off this creeping depression. Today I am meeting some friends for lunch - that's always a way to boost my mood. Before that I am going to straighten up this room. I will work on school work for a bit if I have time. I'm going to start packing for the trip. Yes, I have things to do and I just need to keep moving and doing to ward off this depression. 

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