28 May 2011

Deep Introspection

Or your basic navel gazing, whatever. But I have been indulging in it and I think it may be good.

I just took Bella to the beach. This is a Saturday morning thing that she loves and I love. I love the ocean, I love the beach, I love the sand and the salt and the water. I love it all and I don't get there near enough. So off we went to the beach. It was a windy day but I think that was a good thing, it blew all the cobwebs out.

Anyway, this beach we go to is one of the most popular in the state. It is also attached to a large park and right next to a cute, quaint little neighborhood that has a real nice 1.5 mile loop road. As you may have guessed, this place attracts a lot of people who workout. I saw runners, walkers, bikers, swimmers, windsurfers, stand-up paddlers, kayakers, the list goes on. I saw them on the beach, in the park, heading into and out of the neighborhood. I saw young, old, fit, unfit, serious exercisers, and casual tourists. I saw them all and noticed them all. One particular lady made me stop and think. I was walking Bella up this steep sidewalk and this lady came running up behind us. She wasn't running very fast but she was running. As she passed me I got a look at her and this woman had to be late 60's early 70's. She was no spring chicken. Since her age caught my attention, I watched her as she went past. She was trim and fit and clearly ran and worked out a lot. Watching her run away from me, I thought to myself, I want to be like that when I'm her age. Then I thought, hell, I want to be like that now. Then I thought, I DO want to be like that now, what the hell is stopping me? Then the long list of nails began to run through my head; my heel hurts, my ankle hurts, I'm too fat, I don't have the aerobic capacity, I don't have time, blah, blah, blah. Then it hit me, I have to have reasons to do it more than I have excuses not to. It doesn't take a dna experts to figure out that I am not programed to workout constantly or to be super skinny, but I can be the best me I can be. So I started thinking, I can't run right now but I can bike. I can pull the mountain bike out of storage, fix it up and start riding it around. If I go for a ride every afternoon, gradually I can build myself up. I can focus on eating and moving and hopefully shed some weight. Then I can start thinking about running again. I need this. I need to feel good about myself and just feel good in general. I need to chose between napping on the couch or doing something that will benefit me.

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