Step Away From the Cake

 I have one. I had it last week a little bit. I went to the chiro and it definitely got better. But it came back this week. Now I did exercise this week and I went heavy on the weights, that could be what brought it back. All I know is that it hurts like h*ll if I sit too much and is fine when I stand. Yesterday I had a brief moment when I thought maybe something else was wrong, like my kidneys. But after reading and careful consideration I realized it was most definitely my butt. It's deep in my butt so it could be my deep six. I may have strained it and then just didn't give it time to rest. Don't know, not sure. All I know for certain is that my butt hurts.  In other news, I worked on my Finish journal a little yesterday and I didn't get far. I have a hard time writing goals and then breaking them down. So this journal wants you to write out your goal and make it very specific with a date. Example, I will lose 10 lbs by March 31st. Than lay out the steps to get there...

 I find my peacefulness slipping and I need to not let that happen. I guess I should be thankful that I can see it so quickly, that is progress. But yesterday I had to work hard, really hard, at not being resentful for having to stay for open house. I focused on what I could do. I got my tests and quizzes copied for Monday. I started to get marine science organized. I go all caught up on my grading. So I got a lot done. I tried to not let my mind go to the fact that I was there until 8:30 at night. I just kept working and doing things. So in that way it was good.  Tonight is the first alumni event at school and I volunteered to help out. So I have to be back there at 5:30pm tonight. I'm looking forward to seeing some of the graduates. I'm not looking forward to some of them, but eh, whatever.  I plan on working in the garage today - that really has become my happy place. I'd like to get something new cut and start working on it while I stain the frames for the 2 remaining...

 I have been working so hard on not blowing up in class. I have been working, even before the monks started walking, on keeping my cool and not letting things get to me. Yesterday I blew it. I let something get to me and I got angry in biology class, 1st period. Luckily, I caught myself and was able to stop and regroup mentally. But I wasn't nice the entire class and that is not good. I worked very hard to shake it off for the rest of the day, but it stayed with me. So I decided to write here today instead of meditating. I don't know what set that off and I don't want it to happen again. I will need to apologize to them on Monday. So I need to let it go. Let's try that.  Tonight is open house at school. I'm trying very hard to look at it in a good light. It is something I have to do, so there is no point in being upset over it or wishing I didn't have to do it. I am trying to look at it in a positive light. I have grading to catch up on, so I'm going to work...

 Just a quick post before I workout. I saw this on a reel yesterday and it's been bouncing around my head ever since.  Cognitive inertia: the human tendency to stick with existing beliefs, ideas,  or ways of processing information, resisting change even when presented with new or contradictory information.  In other words, this is the we've always done things that way, which is something I hate and always have hated. Just because you've always done something that way doesn't mean it's the best way to do it. In fact, it's probably not. I don't want to live that way. Ever. I want to always be open to change. To trying new things. To learning about the world and myself.  Okay, I may add more later but I just needed to get this down before it slipped my mind again.  

  I've been doing a lot of deep thinking lately and soul searching. I've done it before, but then I let it slip because of the person sending the message. The monks and their dog have really brought it back for me. Mindfulness. Purposefulness. Intention. Peace. Calm. Clarity. It's all coming back and I realize now it's super important to me. Then this morning I get an email and this is the first line.  Actions are your values made real. You can talk and talk, but at the end of the day, your actions never lie. This. So, so much this. I know so many people who are literally all talk. They say they are going to do this and that and this and yet nothing gets done. I get angry at myself when I do that. Because I know that either I don't really value what I say I do or I'm trying to be someone I'm not. It's usually the latter. I'm trying to conform and be someone I'm really not. And that is not living in my values. So yeah, this spoke to me a lot today...

 I'm working on learning Pinterest and this came up, it's come up before in the years I've been trying to do this. My niche. What is my niche? I think this is actually not too hard (though I'm probably wrong) but I think my niche is art. Specifically large, expensive art. Is that a niche? I don't know. I think so. I also need to nail down my perfect customer. Who is that? Again, I don't know. I think I know but I could be wrong. How the heck am I supposed to figure this out if I've never actually sold one of my big art pieces??? This is the part I hate about trying to figure out marketing and the part I always, always, always get stuck on and eventually end up quitting. I was just thinking as I typed this out, actually I was thinking a few things. First, I'm going to guess at my perfect customer and then just shoot for it. If I miss, oh well, I'll revise. Also, AI can help me figure out my niche - whatever that is. I think I will do that.  Yesterday ...