Journaling

 Over the past 30+ years, journaling has become how I sort through things. Whenever life is tough, journaling is my way to figure it all out. In many ways, it is my way of meditating. I focus my mind on one thing and gnaw at it like a dog with a bone. I've been doing that the past few days. Instead of meditating, I've been writing in here, and it's really cathartic. Today is my final day, at least on a school day.  I let my grief really get me down yesterday. It was the first school morning without Mavy, and my whole routine was off, and it made me sad. Really, really sad. All day. I can't live like that. It is not me. So today is the day I shake off the sadness. Yes, I will miss him for a long, long time. But that doesn't mean I need to be sad. We had so much fun together. We hiked, we did agility, we investigated new places. We had a blast. It's time to shift my focus to the good things and not the fact that he's gone. What is that saying??? Don't be sad that it's over; be glad it happened. That's the way I need to look at things now. I was lucky enough to have Mavy for 8 years. 8 noisy, talkative, nervous years. I was lucky enough to have all the dogs I've had over the years. They say that every dog teaches you something, and it's true. Every single dog I've had has made me a better person in some way. And I thank them for that. So today, I shed the sadness. I look back on Mavy's life with fondness and love. 

Okay, that's it. You won't hear from me again until the weekend. It's time to not be sad anymore, and I will work on that all day. For Mavy's sake.